Its Just Me.

My normal blogs are well thought out and are usually on my mind for quite some time before they are published. Lately I have tried to find inspiration but the only things that come to mind are the many trials that I am going through. My goal was to transform my mind and this blog account from one with a focus on myself to one that would glorify God. You see, these past few weeks have been really tough. I am learning that I cannot just give my whole heart to someone and not expect to get it returned to me in a million pieces. I am also learning that people will, not may, but will fail me. Jon says that to me every time I end up having people problems. He also tells me that the only person who will not break my heart in a million pieces is God. I know and think the same thing. Maybe its my adolescent faith coming out, but it is way harder for me to talk with God when all I want to do is crawl in a hole and wallow in my self-pity, rather than talk to the one who is in control of the entire universe. It sounds silly but that's just how I feel and operate. This is just the tip of my iceberg. 
I sometimes dont realize just how much pressure I place upon myself with school, work, church, friends, family, and all the in between. When I was younger I would bottle things inside and no one would know how/what I was feeling thanks to a rough childhood.  Now that I am older I cannot keep the cork on my bottle for long without a huge explosion. I guess to sum this all up I am stressed to the max and dont realize it until KABOOM its out there. Please pray for me. 

A Triumphant Return

After a much needed and unanticipated break from the stresses of posting a creative blog, I finally have some free time to update my status on many areas of my life. I hope you enjoy and aren't bored to death.


 As some of you may already know I am going back to school full time in pursuit of a bachelors degree in who knows what. I will graduate next year with a basic associates degree. I am very excited to get back in school. I am even more excited to finish a goal that at one time had to be placed on hold due to unforeseen circumstances. I am not a very patient person by nature so this is going to be nice! In order to complete this mission I will unfortunately have to go part time at work. This is where Jon and I will have to trust in the Lord with our finances and with the next few life decisions. God has been so gracious this last year of marriage. Jon and I have become closer and more like best friends who just cant get enough of each other. I have no doubt that we will "survive" on our salaries because God will provide.


Our youth group has definitely grown within the last few weeks. We went from a consistent group of two to an almost consistent group of eight!! After having the opportunity to meet these new young adults, I have developed a strong love for them and hope they continue to come. Jon is really excited about the new calendar year. He has been working hard this last few weeks to schedule events and fundraisers for the youth. Its comforting to know that I am married to such a Godly man who loves the youth as much as I do. 


Well I do have much more to add to this blog but I feel that in time everything I want to say will come out eventually. So I will leave you with this verse I have been trying to memorize. These past few months have been extremely difficult but tonight I have a peace that the Lord is just that, He is Lord and in control of everything. There is nothing that can take me away from my God!
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

Lessons Learned

Some of the best moments in life are when you are enjoying it with a good friend. In this video Hannah is practicing the art of surprise. She pretends not to be paying attention but then suddenly "scares" me. Haha!! The first half of the video is mostly me trying to get her to start "scaring" me again. My favorite part about this video is hearing her laugh, especially the full bent over laugh she does so well.  I really enjoy our days together. She teaches me so much. She is more than just a tester guinea pig for future kids, she teaches me life lessons without really knowing it. Life Lesson #1 : She was definitely not wanting to take a nap yesterday so I said "fine, no nap today" so of course because of the lack of sleep she became a little whiny. I thought to myself, is this what I sound like to God when I do what I want and not listen to Him? Just a quick little thought blossomed into a heart convicting message towards myself. How many times do we follow our own desires and not listen to what God is telling us? I am guilty as charged. I try so hard to do things on my own because I can "handle" it, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. When I follow my own desires and it doesn't go how I planned I go to God. I wonder though if I sound like a whiny toddler? Of course God always wants us to come to him for everything. I personally do not want to sound like a whiny baby when I don't get what I want. I want to respect and obey His commands and go to him knowing I am in His will. I hope you enjoyed the video and my thoughts. Live as if Christ were coming back today, do not waste time in sharing the gospel with someone. 

My Name is Thomas.

                                              Good Afternoon Everyone!

Today is day one of my mini vacation. I am only going into work to teach my dog training classes then I am coming right back home. I already feel so accomplished and relaxed. Last night Jon and I did most of the house work and this morning/ afternoon I am finishing up the laundry and cleaning a bit more. I cannot wait for the days of being at home more often! This past Sunday has been such a great day of revival. Not only did we have a great worship service but also I joined the adult Sunday School class. I have never felt so welcomed and challenged since I joined the adult classes, keep in mind I am the youngest person probably by 20 years. :) Our teacher H.L. is great. I really enjoy his lessons ALOT. This past Sunday Morning we learned about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead and the supreme power of Jesus. Jesus waited two days before He decided to go visit Lazarus. When he arrived there Lazarus was already dead. People thought that if Jesus had arrived sooner he could have healed Lazarus. Jesus had already healed many people, but before Lazarus He had not raised anyone from the dead. But Jesus waited to show his power to everyone. My own thoughts during that lesson took a different more personal path. If Jesus can raise people up from the dead, He gives life. If he gives life, He must be the creator of life. If He creates life, in His time he will create within me a child whom I can love just as He loved me. For the first time the words "God is in control" became believable. I compared myself to the disciple Thomas because he has faith but he still doubts. We all have doubts at times its what we turn that doubt into that matters. Do not be like me and harbor that doubt/fear for many months or even years, let go of the past so you can move forward. Do not let anything hold you back from truly worshiping God through your thoughts and actions. If doubt and fear are becoming your master, take the time to get right with Him and feel the healing hand of God. Revel in His sovereignty. 

Learning to Walk

Have you ever tried walking on your knees? When I was younger... much younger I could in-fact grab my feet and walk on my knees. Of course I couldn't go very far without a bruise or two, or without falling flat on my face. The best place to walk on my knees was the carpet. It held underneath a cushioned padding for my knees to freely walk without much pain. If I did want to go very far I would usually need someone to hold me up by my underarms. This concept of walking on our knees applies to us as adults/ youth today. Even though most of us cannot physically walk on our knees, we decide to walk alone through our lives with the disability of our sinful nature. We rely on ourselves to get us through our trials and tribulations. We try and take the easy road "the carpet" to make for ourselves a padding to keep the bruises from forming so others cant see whats going on deep within our hearts. In truth, we need each other to be able to rely on in our times of need. God places people in our lives to 1.we can show Gods love to others and 2. to be the recipient of Gods unfailing love. Some of you may be reading this and are realizing what I have just come to realize, we need to stand up and help one another in their times of need. If and probably when people fail you, take comfort in knowing that God is and always will be there for us even when we fail him. That is a concept I struggle with often. I am so used to running away from the uncomfortable feelings/ problems I have with others I sometimes cant imagine God still wanting me. But His word says in Jeremiah 29:13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. This passage tells me that He will always be there even when others are not. I hope this has been a blog that has been worth a few minutes of time that will last a lifetime!  : )   This is only one explanation of many for the new blog title expect more to come later!