The Count Down!! Dreams Come True?

It sounds so incredibly weird to hear myself say " I can't wait to be an at home wife". Seven years ago, the thought of being at home ALL the time made my stomach cringe, but that was all before I met Jon. Before Jon I was such a selfish person. I mean that in all the correct ways... I'm not downing on myself. But its true, my thoughts and actions reflected a person who only cared for their own well being. I guess it stemmed from a childhood that quickly became adulthood after my mothers passing. None the less I wanted a very successful career working all the time, children whom I could support on my own without a second income, and a large house with probably a few staff members to help with the housework. Sounds glorious right? ..... Wrong. Getting married and especially to Jon changed my whole perspective on my life. I have never met a more caring, loving, and genuine person. He has shown me its perfectly acceptable to allow someone else take the burden of provision and to accept provision instead. The last few years I have worked full time plus commissions/ bonuses only to put a roof over my head and food in my belly, nothing more nothing less. That in my old way of thinking was "how it was". But Jon has rocked my world with this new idea of being an at home wife maybe in a few years an at home mom!!!  As I said in an earlier post Jon is hoping for a job transfer that will allow us to be more financially stable. His goal (without my point of views) is to make me an at home wife whether it be full time or part time. What was thought of just a few years ago as sickening, has now become something more like a treasure. How wonderful would it be to cook a full meal for my husband morning, noon, and night?!? If you are wondering man she has gone crazy.. no worries I'm still fully sane! But I genuinely love the look on his face when his belly is full of a meal I have cooked! Lately I come home and fall asleep before I even think of food. Jon has taken a leadership role in dinner because I am way too exhausted to even think of cooking. When I say leadership role I'm talking fast food.... which is so terrible for both of us. This is just one example of many ways our lives would be better if this happens. Of course nothing is perfect but at least I would not be as stressed out and I could enjoy life instead of watching it pass me by. 

Life in the Fast Lane

Life as I know it has been kicked into full speed these last few weeks. When I left you readers I was just beginning school. Now that I have added school to the long list of "must do's", I find myself stretched to my breaking point. School itself is not a problem, the problem lies when I must get up everyday between 7 and 8am only to make it back home after work by 10 or 11pm. That is 16 hours of non-stop rushing around trying to make a living and attend school. Outside those 16 hours I am trying also to squeeze in homework, cleaning, laundry,cooking, not to mention my quiet time with God. I just cant do it all the time. Last week I wore myself to the point of illness. Upset stomach, dizziness, nausea, and fatigue flooded into my new list of worries. Work for me has not been the greatest experience these last few weeks either. I feel as if those imaginary doors are slamming in my face. I have not been able to sell not one of my classes in the past two weeks. The only ones I do sell are for the other trainer. Last month however, I was on fire! My classes were selling left and right. My managers do not treat me with respect for some reason. I honestly have never had this problem in the past. Every manager I have ever worked for has said I am one of their most valuable asset. Does this mean that God has other plans for me? I sure hope so! While doors are closing for me it seems like doors are opening for Jon. Next month we are hoping that he will be transfered to  a new position and potentially make enough money, so I may either go part time at another occupation or even stay at home to finish school. At first my thoughts were "no way am I going to be cooped up at home!" then the more I thought about it the more the idea appealed to me. I would have so much more time to make Jon's and my life easier. I would be able to clean and do laundry on a regular basis and even make straight A's (hopefully). I would have more time to do what I love and that is working at the church. Whether it be cleaning, planning or teaching I love to work there! I feel it is where I belong and my other job is just getting in the way. So dear readers that is my life at the current moment... uncensored! Hopefully soon my life will settle down so I dont have to feel like I'm speeding through life because if I do I may crash.