My normal blogs are well thought out and are usually on my mind for quite some time before they are published. Lately I have tried to find inspiration but the only things that come to mind are the many trials that I am going through. My goal was to transform my mind and this blog account from one with a focus on myself to one that would glorify God. You see, these past few weeks have been really tough. I am learning that I cannot just give my whole heart to someone and not expect to get it returned to me in a million pieces. I am also learning that people will, not may, but will fail me. Jon says that to me every time I end up having people problems. He also tells me that the only person who will not break my heart in a million pieces is God. I know and think the same thing. Maybe its my adolescent faith coming out, but it is way harder for me to talk with God when all I want to do is crawl in a hole and wallow in my self-pity, rather than talk to the one who is in control of the entire universe. It sounds silly but that's just how I feel and operate. This is just the tip of my iceberg.
I sometimes dont realize just how much pressure I place upon myself with school, work, church, friends, family, and all the in between. When I was younger I would bottle things inside and no one would know how/what I was feeling thanks to a rough childhood. Now that I am older I cannot keep the cork on my bottle for long without a huge explosion. I guess to sum this all up I am stressed to the max and dont realize it until KABOOM its out there. Please pray for me.
After a much needed and unanticipated break from the stresses of posting a creative blog, I finally have some free time to update my status on many areas of my life. I hope you enjoy and aren't bored to death.
As some of you may already know I am going back to school full time in pursuit of a bachelors degree in who knows what. I will graduate next year with a basic associates degree. I am very excited to get back in school. I am even more excited to finish a goal that at one time had to be placed on hold due to unforeseen circumstances. I am not a very patient person by nature so this is going to be nice! In order to complete this mission I will unfortunately have to go part time at work. This is where Jon and I will have to trust in the Lord with our finances and with the next few life decisions. God has been so gracious this last year of marriage. Jon and I have become closer and more like best friends who just cant get enough of each other. I have no doubt that we will "survive" on our salaries because God will provide.
Our youth group has definitely grown within the last few weeks. We went from a consistent group of two to an almost consistent group of eight!! After having the opportunity to meet these new young adults, I have developed a strong love for them and hope they continue to come. Jon is really excited about the new calendar year. He has been working hard this last few weeks to schedule events and fundraisers for the youth. Its comforting to know that I am married to such a Godly man who loves the youth as much as I do.
Well I do have much more to add to this blog but I feel that in time everything I want to say will come out eventually. So I will leave you with this verse I have been trying to memorize. These past few months have been extremely difficult but tonight I have a peace that the Lord is just that, He is Lord and in control of everything. There is nothing that can take me away from my God!
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
