My normal blogs are well thought out and are usually on my mind for quite some time before they are published. Lately I have tried to find inspiration but the only things that come to mind are the many trials that I am going through. My goal was to transform my mind and this blog account from one with a focus on myself to one that would glorify God. You see, these past few weeks have been really tough. I am learning that I cannot just give my whole heart to someone and not expect to get it returned to me in a million pieces. I am also learning that people will, not may, but will fail me. Jon says that to me every time I end up having people problems. He also tells me that the only person who will not break my heart in a million pieces is God. I know and think the same thing. Maybe its my adolescent faith coming out, but it is way harder for me to talk with God when all I want to do is crawl in a hole and wallow in my self-pity, rather than talk to the one who is in control of the entire universe. It sounds silly but that's just how I feel and operate. This is just the tip of my iceberg.
I sometimes dont realize just how much pressure I place upon myself with school, work, church, friends, family, and all the in between. When I was younger I would bottle things inside and no one would know how/what I was feeling thanks to a rough childhood. Now that I am older I cannot keep the cork on my bottle for long without a huge explosion. I guess to sum this all up I am stressed to the max and dont realize it until KABOOM its out there. Please pray for me.
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