Lessons Learned

Some of the best moments in life are when you are enjoying it with a good friend. In this video Hannah is practicing the art of surprise. She pretends not to be paying attention but then suddenly "scares" me. Haha!! The first half of the video is mostly me trying to get her to start "scaring" me again. My favorite part about this video is hearing her laugh, especially the full bent over laugh she does so well.  I really enjoy our days together. She teaches me so much. She is more than just a tester guinea pig for future kids, she teaches me life lessons without really knowing it. Life Lesson #1 : She was definitely not wanting to take a nap yesterday so I said "fine, no nap today" so of course because of the lack of sleep she became a little whiny. I thought to myself, is this what I sound like to God when I do what I want and not listen to Him? Just a quick little thought blossomed into a heart convicting message towards myself. How many times do we follow our own desires and not listen to what God is telling us? I am guilty as charged. I try so hard to do things on my own because I can "handle" it, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. When I follow my own desires and it doesn't go how I planned I go to God. I wonder though if I sound like a whiny toddler? Of course God always wants us to come to him for everything. I personally do not want to sound like a whiny baby when I don't get what I want. I want to respect and obey His commands and go to him knowing I am in His will. I hope you enjoyed the video and my thoughts. Live as if Christ were coming back today, do not waste time in sharing the gospel with someone. 

My Name is Thomas.

                                              Good Afternoon Everyone!

Today is day one of my mini vacation. I am only going into work to teach my dog training classes then I am coming right back home. I already feel so accomplished and relaxed. Last night Jon and I did most of the house work and this morning/ afternoon I am finishing up the laundry and cleaning a bit more. I cannot wait for the days of being at home more often! This past Sunday has been such a great day of revival. Not only did we have a great worship service but also I joined the adult Sunday School class. I have never felt so welcomed and challenged since I joined the adult classes, keep in mind I am the youngest person probably by 20 years. :) Our teacher H.L. is great. I really enjoy his lessons ALOT. This past Sunday Morning we learned about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead and the supreme power of Jesus. Jesus waited two days before He decided to go visit Lazarus. When he arrived there Lazarus was already dead. People thought that if Jesus had arrived sooner he could have healed Lazarus. Jesus had already healed many people, but before Lazarus He had not raised anyone from the dead. But Jesus waited to show his power to everyone. My own thoughts during that lesson took a different more personal path. If Jesus can raise people up from the dead, He gives life. If he gives life, He must be the creator of life. If He creates life, in His time he will create within me a child whom I can love just as He loved me. For the first time the words "God is in control" became believable. I compared myself to the disciple Thomas because he has faith but he still doubts. We all have doubts at times its what we turn that doubt into that matters. Do not be like me and harbor that doubt/fear for many months or even years, let go of the past so you can move forward. Do not let anything hold you back from truly worshiping God through your thoughts and actions. If doubt and fear are becoming your master, take the time to get right with Him and feel the healing hand of God. Revel in His sovereignty. 

Learning to Walk

Have you ever tried walking on your knees? When I was younger... much younger I could in-fact grab my feet and walk on my knees. Of course I couldn't go very far without a bruise or two, or without falling flat on my face. The best place to walk on my knees was the carpet. It held underneath a cushioned padding for my knees to freely walk without much pain. If I did want to go very far I would usually need someone to hold me up by my underarms. This concept of walking on our knees applies to us as adults/ youth today. Even though most of us cannot physically walk on our knees, we decide to walk alone through our lives with the disability of our sinful nature. We rely on ourselves to get us through our trials and tribulations. We try and take the easy road "the carpet" to make for ourselves a padding to keep the bruises from forming so others cant see whats going on deep within our hearts. In truth, we need each other to be able to rely on in our times of need. God places people in our lives to 1.we can show Gods love to others and 2. to be the recipient of Gods unfailing love. Some of you may be reading this and are realizing what I have just come to realize, we need to stand up and help one another in their times of need. If and probably when people fail you, take comfort in knowing that God is and always will be there for us even when we fail him. That is a concept I struggle with often. I am so used to running away from the uncomfortable feelings/ problems I have with others I sometimes cant imagine God still wanting me. But His word says in Jeremiah 29:13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. This passage tells me that He will always be there even when others are not. I hope this has been a blog that has been worth a few minutes of time that will last a lifetime!  : )   This is only one explanation of many for the new blog title expect more to come later!

Walking On Humble Knees

This past Wednesdays message was very life altering. During our adult class I realized that I was just downright angry, selfish, and ignoring God altogether. So in an effort to get closer with God I am changing my blog title, URL, and my mind to Walking On Humble Knees. I am only strong when I am in a constant state of prayerful thinking and reading Gods word. I know first hand life has many many challenges but God has given me a life through his son Jesus Christ and I have been so selfish with that life. I was only thinking of myself and not who God wants me to be. I earnestly want to seek God and his will for my life because I know I cannot do it alone. These past few weeks have been filled nothing but playing church, angry towards everyone, hateful thinking, hurts in my life, and blindness towards the bigger picture. It is my hope that I can encourage my fellow Christian family through this blog, and show some light on dark areas of my life so that God can be glorified! 

Still Confused

At least for the next few days this blogger account will become my therapy. I can filter through my emotions better when they are on "paper" than if I were to try and counsel with someone. I apologize for not having happy go lucky blogs but sometimes we all struggle. I hope that through these blogs people see me for who I am and not who they want me to be. Allow me to start from the beginning. Last week I took a test and it turned out negative however the symptoms are still going strong if not stronger than when they first started. I usually about this time will be getting ready for work or picking up the mess left by the previous Sunday afternoon crew, but here I lay on the couch with my head propped up typing a blog. I feel so tired all the time, I can't stay asleep, my stomach hurts in the center, I feel "sore" around my abdomen, and I get nauseated very easily, I cant ever decide what to eat b/c it all sounds bad, headaches that even Midol cant cure, etc. This only leads me to conclude what I have been anticipating for so long. People keep telling me your time will come and great words of wisdom like dont worry, well thats exactly what I have the hardest time with (worry and fear of the unknown) I fret about almost everything. I sometimes wish I could struggle with other things instead, because people tell you the same thing over and over again. I guess only time will tell what is really going on. I wish I had a fast forward button. That would make me feel so much better faster or at least be able to move past and go forward with my life and just be excited to move into our new home later this month.